What do get when you combine 3 Akbar’s, one Moran-Peterson, one Bantum, and a Hardy?
High utility bills!!!!
Many people have asked how we did it…blended our family successfully. The truth is it’s not a one and done thing, it’s a constant, everchanging task of blending.
People’s first instinct is to focus on the children’s relationship with each other. Concluding “Well they get along great, so you guys have it made!” They don’t even ask if we get along with them!!! But no, seriously the dynamics of a blended family expand much further then just the kids getting along. And if you have kids you know that getting along is relative…one day it’s “that’s my brotha from anotha motha” and the next it’s “you will burn in hell” (actual quotes from our boys).
Aside from sometimey sibling behavior there are many other things that need to be accounted for in a blended family; alternate parents, other siblings, differences in parenting, geographical locations, etc. We also went for the crown jewel of blended families and added our teenage niece into the picture which brings an additional layer of blending. The biggest lesson I have learned from all of this, thanks to my husband’s laidback demeanor, is that you can only control the controllables! We cannot possibly control how our children are raised in their alternate homes and in our nieces’ case how she was raised her whole life up until this point! What they eat, how they are disciplined, their bedtime, and how they are rewarded is out of our peripheral. Trying to control it and being upset when it doesn’t go our way is the quickest way to failure in a blended family. Working together is key and showing a mutual respect for all parties involved is paramount.
There are many challenges to blending families and it is definitely not for the faint of heart. Although cliché, the truth is that love is really the glue that keeps this blended family moving.