• Muber Mom

I need to speak with my supervisor

What first started off as conscientious social distancing has quickly morphed into lock down for families all across the country. There are not only global expectations, but family budgets have been cut, food shelves are bare, and medical bills are impending. This is all while our usual outlets for stress are currently off limits. In addition to all of the drastic changes that have been bestowed upon us…

We are HOMESCHOOLING kids now??

Somehow, I feel like things have progressed, without my full consent. I agreed to something, without having all the details. I signed a contract, but I didn’t read the fine print. I fell for the “okey-doke”. I bought a lemon. I need to speak with my supervisor, please.

If my memory serves me correctly, last week (the first week of school closure) there was an extremely relaxed and optimistic tone regarding these kids and their schooling situation. “It’s all good”. “We’re not doing anything new”. “No worries, this is optional”. These may be actual quotes or possibly my interpretation, I’m not sure at this point. But, however it was presented, week one came and went, and it wasn’t horrible. It was, dare I say, manageable?

We are now waist-deep into week two, and there is a bit of a different vibe. For starters, this hostage situation has lengthened by like a month (not cool, people). And suddenly, there is a slightly more aggressive tone to the THOUSANDS of emails we’re receiving. They’ve got a “getting down to business” feel to them with less smiley faces and more bullet points. The phrase: “to facilitate new instruction” is being thrown around way too casually. We’re being told to sign up for accounts, download apps, and put dates and times on the calendar. The superintendent even mentioned a way to potentially take attendance in the future. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don’t remember being hired by the school district, nor did I apply, but MOST IMPORTANTLY- I am not qualified! I REALLY need to speak with my supervisor!

In an effort to get a jump on my inevitable K-12 ghetto certification, I sat down with my 10th grader yesterday. If you knew my six sons, you’d know why I had to tackle this problem first (with my morning energy). He is a silent heart attack, the widow-maker, the one that will kill you if you’re not doubling up on your blood pressure pill. He is the reason that the guidance counselor and I are BFFs- we have a Dayshawn Support Group. Anyway, knowing that structured homeschooling is coming, I helped him comb through EACH class and tons of assignments. I’m printing, scanning, and uploading worksheets to and from “schoology” like I’m this kid’s secretary. And the worst part of all is that… this is all work that was due BEFORE the school shut down! How are we ever going to cover new material, virtually? Really. I NEED TO SPEAK WITH MY SUPERVISOR!

Meanwhile, my 5th grader gets on his “Zoom” class meeting, announcing that PlayStation is better than Xbox. There is no way I can redirect those random thoughts in a home environment, nor do I want to. My heart and soul is in YouTube P.E. class with my 9th grader, because we are the only ones worried about surfacing from this mess without the pandemic pudge. Thankfully, my 7th and 12th graders are pretty independent students, because I am regularly bamboozled by a two-year-old, who actually controls the house.

I am functioning in complete chaos and not adequately trained for this homeschooling position. In a complete turn of events, I have become the mother, teacher, counselor, activities coordinator, house manager, reading specialist, infection disease police, and referee to six boys in a VERY small house. I am more than willing to fulfill the duties of the job between 5pm and 7am, as previously agreed upon. But as far as everything in between, I need to speak with my supervisor.

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