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My humble drive to Florida


Everything about our family vacation to Florida was perfect........ with the exception of the LONG 14-hour drive there and back.


First of all, nothing has the ability to humble you... like motherhood. There have been countless times that I’ve said, and I quote: “I would NEVER...” in my grandmother voice, clutching my imaginary pearls, with my nose in the air. My "I would NEVER..." is usually followed by some judgy statement, that would probably hold up in the most ideal situation. Then, BAM! Motherhood strikes. Motherhood is anything but ideal, and there I am, eating those "I would NEVER" words like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.


So, for anyone that has ever heard me say “I would NEVER... trap myself in a car with Bebe’s Kids and drive to Florida. I'm only flying. I'd rather not go at all. In fact, I'd rather walk", my apologies. I've been broken down and humbled, ok? I THOUGHT I would never, but motherhood cut me a slice of humble pie, and I actually drove to Florida with six kids in tote, last week. A long road trip with six boys most certainly isn't my idea of fun, but I had no other choice. When the bills were paid and the credit cards were maxed, all I had left was gas money #wahhh. So, in an attempt to have some sort of 2019 “summer vacation”, determined not to write off another opportunity to enjoy life, off to Florida we drove.

Like I said, motherhood will humble the classiest of us mothers, and believe me, I think I’m rich and famous (just waiting for my riches and fames to arrive). But there I was... first-class DRIVING a 15-passenger van. Equipped with a buffet portion of Chips Ahoys and Capri Suns, I'm posting "praying for traveling mercies" #ThisCantBeMyLife. With six kids ranging from 1 to 16 years old, we opted to drive through the night to... you know, minimize the PTSD on all. Or so we thought.


Both trips, there and back, really mirrored each other. All kids over the age of one had the perfect cycles of sleeping and chilling. They were so chill, I kept jealously squinting at them through the rear-view mirror. Now Davis (our 1 year old) was another story. He slept/relaxed for the first two hours, but by hour 3, he wanted out of the car seat. So, there we were driving at night, and just when it got good and dark, the roads were bare, and we could really take advantage of the open road... just when you should be sitting back to enjoy the peace and quiet of sleeping kids... Davis broke out into an awful, shrieking scream, like we were kidnapping him. #WTF #FML #SMDH and any other hashtag that represents me reconsidering my existence on Earth. Snacks and Netflix weren't helping the situation, and I was at my wits end (yes, at hour 3 of 14). Davis was in the car seat, out the car seat, and even passed around like a hot potato in the van. Not only was he disgustingly miserable with the whole situation, but he also wouldn't settle until he had his favorite person in the whole wide world, who also happened to be driving at this point. Nope, not me (the person who brought him into this this world), he needed his daddy #GagMe.

So... once again, I was unexpectedly humbled by Motherhood. Not only was I driving to Florida with Bebe's Kids, against my better "I would NEVER" judgement, but now Davis is sitting on his daddy's lap, “pretend driving” the van.... down an actual highway.

Only in motherhood will your "I would NEVER..." turn into a "but have you ever...", as you top another mother's desperate act of survival.



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